What you are reading is my 100th post on this blog. In honor of this occasion, I will explain the beginnings of ATB.
Accept the Bullshit began as a few hand-written pieces of paper that I passed around Brooke Glen Behavioral Hospital’s adolescent ward to keep my fellow patients laughing in May of 2013. My first entry was tastelessly named “My Life Is Like A Holocaust Joke – It’s terrible, but funny” and recalled the story of my escape from Brooke Glen which had taken place a couple weeks earlier. The link to that post can be found HERE.
On Friday, I got my fourth tattoo done at Golden Ages Tattoos in Lancaster city. The design is a heart of poppies with the initials MLD inside of it. The letters stand for Meredith Leigh Demko, the name of a friend of mine that was killed in a car accident in July of 2014. My tattoo for Mer is placed in between a tattoo that honors my best friend who committed suicide in 2012 and one that matches a larger hummingbird that my paternal grandmother has on her arm.
I am planning to get sleeves on both my arms, but my left arm has a theme: people that have impacted my life in a positive way. I may only have three tattoos there now, but I have plans for more and of course I need space for people that I have yet to meet. Some of the ideas I have already include my mom, brother and sister, people that I’ve met in treatment and another friend that took her own life.
I’m excited about the tattoos to come as well as the ones I already have, and I know I’ll need to move to other parts of my body for so much art. I want to be like a walking tribute to the people who made and continue to make me who I am. There’s something about broadcasting another person’s name or initials or aura with your body. It’s like sharing a part of your life. Their beliefs and energy are always with you, for you and others to see. It’s an honor as well as a source of anxiety. I don’t want to let any of the most important people to me down, and at the same time, they are always seeing over my hands to help me.