Archive | January 2015

10 First World Problems That Make Me Disproportionately Upset

Everybody has those seemingly tiny or insignificant things that never fail to bring them down every time. They’re like triggers, but on a smaller scale. People usually don’t talk about their baby triggers because they seem petty or it feels like no one else feels the same way or it feels like it’s ungrateful to be upset about problems that don’t even exist in other areas of this country and the world. I think that invalidation of internal struggle is part of what perpetuates so much of this society that is based in shame. Plus, every emotion that I feel is so extreme that even tiny things can spark a whole ton of shit. Regardless, here are the first 10 of my personal first world triggers that come to mind:

1. When I send a smiley face emoji and I’m not really smiling.

2. When I listen to 90% of Radiohead songs.

3. When neither of my siblings or I can remember my family’s Netflix username and password.

4. When I have to go down the stairs to get food or a drink. Well, down isn’t as much the problem as going up is. As opposed to people that walk miles and miles a day to get water.

5. When I straighten my hair and it still looks ratchet.

6. When my mom buys whole grain Goldfish instead of regular Goldfish to subtly introduce nutrition into my life.

7. When people don’t like Beyoncé as much as I do. And I can’t deny it, that’s pretty hard to match.

8. When famous people die. Michael Jackson? Whitney Houston? Devastating. Not even kidding. I cried more over a Joan Rivers documentary a couple days after she died than I ever could’ve expected. And who knows what’s going to happen when Betty White leaves the world?

9. When my therapist (who is a new mother) doesn’t text me back soon enough.

10. When I don’t pick anything up in the claw machine. As my mother told me many times, “You’re more likely to win the lottery than to get one of those stuffed animals.” That’s never stopped me from trying though.

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